Saturday, October 25, 2014

Lessons Three. Four. And Five.






“Kristin’s a good person with a good heart.  She just made a big mistake.”
Two nights before Hurricane Gonzalo, I commented on a Facebook post about public schools being open the next day, while private schools would be closed.  I didn’t read the whole thread, but while skimming I did see that most, if not all, of the commenters felt the schools being open was a stupid decision. I added my 2p that perhaps for this day, the schools would be a ‘service’ for those parents whose jobs were not closed or who needed to do lots of pre-storm prep.  The inferences that followed were that I felt a) teachers shouldn’t be allowed the same prep allowances and b) teachers are baby-sitters.  Neither was true, but the firestorm that followed was immediate and intense.  Any comment I added to try and explain my view (which admittedly was not even one I felt strongly about), or even provide support, was beaten down. 

I apologised to everyone for the misunderstanding, then the above was said about my ‘big mistake’.  And while that statement could be about my life generally (like f’real - such an accurate summation!!) and I agree about making a mistake, I disagree about what it was.  Not my view – which was echoed by other people on other pages in better words.   The ‘big mistake’ was wading into a conversation where emotions were high with a different opinion, when I had no skin in the game.  Not having a school aged child, or being a teacher, or even feeling strongly enough about what I was saying to stop and properly craft messages rather than hastily type them on my phone – I should have stayed out of it.  Period.  

"Just to think she's the head of a group of young adults/kids for Raleigh International yrs past.  If this is how (she) thinks I'm so glad my daughter didn't fall under her watch..."

This was one of the comments made in the Facebook fray, and the next day I thought about this comment over and over … and over.  Some people say they don’t care what anybody thinks.  While I’m 100% sure that’s bullshit, I admire the spirit.  I care a lot about what people think.  

And Raleigh is such a major part of who I am, from breath to bones, that this post felt really personal. Instead of acknowledging it as a ‘heat of the moment’ statement from someone who does not know me, I let it (as usual) shake me.

But having this tape running through my head the day before a massive storm was about to hit was counter-productive.   In order to actually get sorted, I had to put it aside, and not allow myself days of dwelling.  This comment would pop into my mind when getting ice or testing flashlights, causing my heart to beat fast and my mind to wander.  But with Gonzalo bearing down, a wandering mind was a luxury I couldn’t afford. 

And so I did what I usually do not – reminded myself of who I am, accepted that this post is not, in the big scheme of things, that important, and focused on what was.  I took a deep breath and I moved on.  Funny... it only took a hurricane... 

“It’s $150.” “But it took you like 10 minutes...”
Get an estimate before the job, even in a hurricane emergency.   Not as big a lesson as the others, but damn I’m bad with money.

***


How about you?  What did you take away from our double storm whammy?

1 comment:

  1. That comment was harsh and clearly the person didn't know you or your contribution to Raleigh and young people's lives to have made such a senseless comment. Hopefully her daughter will get to interact with you at some other time sans the mother and her negative attitude.

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